I recently had a conversation with a senior citizen. He was a patient of mine, and he was early and I had a cancellation, so we had extra time to talk. As usual, the conversation started with him asking me if I was indeed old enough to be his doctor. I reassured him I was old enough, in fact I had just turned 28. ( I need to stop saying “just”… I turned 28 two months ago). He then asked me if I was married, and I said no.
“You’re too picky, that’s why.”
How did this 78 year old geriatric know my innermost thoughts. Yes I am too picky. I know that, how did he?
So ensued a twenty minute conversation on love vs marriage, and how you don’t need one for the other.
According to Ronald, people today, youngsters, are too busy finding their soulmate rather than finding someone who is dependable and most important, willing to get married. I agree. We look for certain characteristics before we start dating a person, when before, these characteristics were found out along the way.
Today we need a multitude of requirements in a person, that if they don’t have all of them, regardless of any, it’s not pursued.
Soulmates are made, they are not found. A man and woman come together and slowly become one for another. They grow on each other’s strengths, and become limited on each other’s weaknesses. They make each other who they are.
People today are too busy being themselves for themselves that they are looking for their soulmate in another person. You can’t bring two separate people together and expect them to blend into one perfect person. There need to be two people willing to be blended together to make a good relationship; a partnership.
Rumi said “soulmates are not found, they are within each other the whole time”.
Instead of looking for the perfect love, you need to look for the person who makes you love yourself, who makes you feel perfect. Because that’s the beginning of it, what Ronald was trying to say, they make you a better you.
I asked Ronald why he got married to his wife of 51 years… he said he married her because she was nice. All the other stuff came with time. It was a gift, a new experience each time, finding out about her, opening a gift each day. His wife is more than just a spouse, she is his lover, best friend, companion and now soulmate. He says, and I agree, if you are too busy trying to find all those characteristics in one person from the start, you won’t know when you actually find the right person.
Great… one more thing to worry about.